The city benches at almost every bus stop in Baltimore proclaim, “Baltimore, the Most Beautiful City in the World.” Did the city planners forget about Paris, Rome, San Francisco or nearly every other major city in the world?? It’s a proclamation so bold and ridiculous that if you don’t actually think about it, you might imagine it were true. But it’s not.
Chet was a rare sexy specimen at the parade, but apparently he’s straight. He won the High Heel race again this year.
I’m thinking about this outrageous proclamation because at Baltimore Pride last weekend, a straight friend commented that he was really shocked that the guys weren’t so good looking and almost none of them were in shape, but Baltimore has never aspired to be Miami. I don’t think that it has ever aspired to be anything other than what it is and has never given much of a shit about any place else. But I do suspect that the gay community here would be a lot hotter, if the “straight” guys came out of the closet. That’s one of the problems with Baltimore Pride.
But the thing is, it doesn’t matter what you look like. You can be shaped like a gourd and be proud. The biggest problem with Baltimore Pride is that there are never enough drag queens. Every year there is only a small group of queens walking through the parade, lumped together and doing their damndest to add a little glitz to the otherwise humdrum event.
I really don’t want to sound like a hardass, because we had a blast this year. There just needs to be more sexy boys and tons more drag. How could that not improve any event??
Chet finds an errant drag queen to pose with.
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Comments
Baltimore is wild, all day everyday. I go to school near the city and lemme tell you, it’s always an adventure going there.
Straight man wins High Heel race, only in Charm City, Hon.
If you go, you need to check out HonFest in Baltimore: “The higher the hair, the closer to God.” Some lady came up to me and said: “Just drank me a Natty Bo and I have to sit my kitty on the tawlet!”
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWr4fXOSLxA
Great video…that’s pretty much the way it is.
Here are a few Polaroids I took at this year’s HonFest.
omg could you imagine if tracy went to honfest?! she would so be crowned the best hon. i would DIE! too amazing.
Oh, please. The city is delusional, but not quite enough to claim beauty on its bus benches. ‘The Greatest City in America’, as they do read, only works for residents who have been institutionalized since birth. Luckily, there are quite a number of those.
My work partner claims that when he arrives at O’Hare to fly to Baltimore, he never bothers to look at his gate assignment. One need only walk down the concourse until you see the biggest grouping of freaks…and that’s the United flight to Charm City. (I’ve tried it. Really does work.)
That’s why we love it so much!
It’s about “the Believe” campaign. The city is the perfect respite from a “serious” lifestyle.
I wouldn’t mind that dumb Believe campaign if it wasn’t so funereal.