David Beckham has a face you can set your watch to.

The handsome David Beckham with his wife Victoria who never smiles.

What was up with that red carpet? It hurt my eyes!

Wasn’t it great when Tom Brockaw told McCain to get out of the way so he could finish the show?

Obama came across once again as eloquent, well informed and level headed. Is America ready to have a competent leader? I think so, Yes we can! Nail McCain to the wall Obama!

What does the sound of a failing political campaign sound like? “TERRORISM!” Last weekend Gov. Palin and Sen. McCain both directly declared their political opponent associated with terrorists and even scoff indifferently when their supporters jokingly threatened to kill Senator Obama. Is this what the election has boiled down to?

One way the Republicans can win this election is to simply lock away Sen. Obama in Guantanamo bay, but as Harold and Kumar showed in their movie, it’s way easy to escape.

I went with Michael Lehet to see the Scooty and JoJo’s Carpenter’s Halloween, a reenactment of Halloween John Carpenter’s Halloween set to the music of the Carpenters. It’s truly an odd mix of horror and camp. If you are a fan of camp, drag, the movie Halloween or the music of the Carpenters then this is a must see for you.

Get your tickets now if you want good seats. Also, the set is in FULL COLOR and you won’t believe how good it looks!

Michael and I also saw Watch Out based on Joseph Suglia’s book that features the super sexy Matt Riddlehoover as narcissistic Jonathan Burrows, who is only sexually attracted to himself and even makes love to a blow up doll that looks like himself.

Through Jonathan’s journey we encounter many strange characters, all of whom are sexually attracted to the very handsome protagonist but in who he has no interest whatsoever. He delivers a condescending diatribe against them about why he would never find them attractive and even kills some of them. This movie is a totally over the top cross between Strangers with Candy and Jeffrey Dahlmer.

Michael convinced me to go the Improv Everywhere’s MP3 Chicago which I initially didn’t want to go because it sounded a bit hokey- I was to download an mp3 audio file, be at a specific location and do what ever it told me to do at a precise time. Now, I’ve seen enough X-Files or Twilight Zone episodes to know how terribly wrong things like this can go. For all I know it could have turned me into a government assassin.

But, after a long night partying with Miss Tracy Tyler we all hopped in the car and experienced what turned out to be a very fun day. Sometimes it is fun to do just let yourself go and let someone else call the shots. And I totally kicked ass in the Epic Battle.

Listen as we talk about the bizarre Anglican Reverend Peter Mullen, who suggests tattooing gay men’s butts with health warning signs. How about tattooing priests faces with “Religion can seriously damage your mental health.”

What’s the secret to the Beckhams beautiful skin? Bird Poop! Yes, they are both getting sh*tfaced for beauty. Its an exotic beauty treatment for Japan.

Nailing the Jell-O to the wall every time- Feast of Fools.

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