This may be some people’s first time at a protest so please dress for the weather, in Chicago that means lots of comfy layers and maybe some rain gear.

Avoid eye contact with police. Do what they say and don’t eyeball them. No one likes to be eyeballed, especially cops, so don’t eyeball them. This protest isn’t about eyeballing, it’s about gay rights.

Keep moving and don’t stay in one place on the sidewalk or they might get you for impeding traffic. Plus, if you are on the run, you are harder to get.

Your protest outfit wouldn’t be complete without a protest sign. Follow these simple rules I modified from Uknighted Manganime for the ultimate sign:

1 Make your slogan rhyme because it may just become the chant that everyone rallies around.

2 Use lots of exclamation marks to show that you are serious about your protest!!!!! Bonus- they also fill in all that pesky negative space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 YOU SHOULD WRITE IN ALL IN CAPITALS TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE VERY SERIOUS AND YOU MUST ‘SHOUT’ TO SHOW THAT YOU MEAN BUSINESS!!!

Hilary Clinton is singing “mama he’s making eyes at me.” Yesterday, the Obama administration eyed the President Elect’s former rival for the position of Secretary of State. She may be a great fit but is this just a ruse to get her out of the country?

The trans man Thomas Beatie is knocked up again. Was this a planned pregnancy?

Scientists take you deep inside the brain of a bully. Did you know that bullies actually enjoy seeing people in pain and misery. Duh!

Paula Goodspeed, who was mocked at the American Idol tryouts, committed suicide outside of judge Paula Abdul’s home. Ms. Goodspeed was disappointed about how bloggers treated her after her appearance on American Idol. She apparently died from a drug overdose.

Remember folks, A healthy booty is a happy one!

If you ever wanted to see a live taping of the Feast of Fools, next week is your chance. Join LifeLube, Project CRYSP, Steamworks and Feast of Fools for “Tunnel of Love” a Live Podcast Forum on keeping your butt happy and healthy. It’s the last one of 2008. RSVP at lifelube.org

Plus, phone calls from our lovely listeners. Call us day or night at (773) 681-3833 for a good time.

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