Glenn Close portrays Albert Nobbs, born a woman, but who dresses and lives life as a man. Can’t wait to see the movie!

Cher’s best line from Burlesque looped for ten minutes!

As would be expected, the Smurfs will be CGI effects, though they won’t be any less fantastic.  Even if it isn’t that great, it would be hard to ruin my childhood memories any worse than the G.I. Joe movie did!

Who’s excited for some more nostalgia?

Don’t you love it when the host gets angry?

Directed by Hollywood hack-meister Chris Columbus, the director of the first two lame Harry Potter films (the franchise only became interesting as film after he left the series), this film has much in commone with that tale.  A young man, unaware of his status as the once and future hero must find himself, discover his secret identity, and save the world.  We’ve been here before many times.  The twist this time is that our young hero played very charmingly by Logan Lerman (who was amazing in “3:10 to Yuma”) is not a wizard, a Jedi Knight, or a Dragon tamer, but a demi-god; the son of Posiedon.

Percy’s discovers his secret when the eons old rivalries of the “big three” Greek Gods Zeus, Hades and Poseidon reach crisis when Zeus’ lightning bolt is stolen (Zeus clearly needs better security) and the entire Olympian world inexplcably blames Percy, who has no idea he’s even a demi-god.   Percy goes to wizard school, er um Demi-God camp, and has to team up with a Princess, er um the daughter of Athena to find the real thief and release his mother who has been kidnapped by Hades.  Adventure and lots of special effects ensue.

Logan Lerman who is very cute and has real screen charisma is the best thing in the film.  I do think the adventure works for the most part but lacks edge of your seat suspense.  I never really believed that he and his tiny band of adventurers would not achieve their goal or were at any real peril at any time.  I blame Columbus who as a director lacks any real passion or fire.  He should stick to mildly amusing family comedies and leave adventure (and muscials – I’ll never forgive him for his dull “Rent”) alone.

Totally safe for the kiddies, this was a nice little diversion on a Saturday afternoon.  B-

We probably missed your favorite film, so please let us know what your favorite film in this genre is.

Mommie Dearest (1981)

Buy it on Amazon: Mommie Dearest [1981] (Hollywood Royalty/Special Collector’s Edition)
The face that launched a thousand drag queens. Who can forget Faye Dunaway’s unforgettable portrayal of Joan Crawford? Here is a video clip from 2007 featuring drag queen Lypsinka, John Waters and others talking about the film.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)

Get it on Amazon: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Hag warfare. A great psychological thriller, black comedy, and over-the-top camp classic is this great trashy melodrama. The best part of this movie is that in real life, Bette Davis and Joan Crawford hated each other.

The Craft (1996)

Get it on Amazon: The Craft
Four teenagers deal in witchcraft and it changes their friendship as some go to the dark side

Friday the 13th (1980)

Get it on Amazon: Friday the 13th
SPOILER: If you didn’t know, mommy did it!

Hellraiser (1987)

Get it on Amazon: Hellraiser
Chinese puzzle boxes are hard to solve and this guy’s wife is a real bitch. How bitchy? She becomes Queen of Hell.

I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

Get it on Amazon: I Spit On Your Grave
Don’t mind the rape so much but don’t mess with a feminist’s manuscript in the early 70s, she’ll cut your dick off!

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Get it on Amazon: Lair of the White Worm
Lady Sylvia is some high priestess, and the worm, maahrvelous!

Misery (1990)

Get it on Amazon: Misery
Kathy Bates plays the ultimate stalker, kidnapper, caretaker, hobbler. Her insane performance won her an Oscar. This scene where she smashes his feet always freaks me out. Warning! Will give you nightmares.

The Bride Wore Black (1968)

Get it on Amazon: The Bride Wore Black
French film that gets very creative in ways to off evil men.

Fatal Attraction (1987)

Get it on Amazon: Fatal Attraction
Remember how serious people took this film when it came out? Watch it again now and tell us what you think.

Black Mama, White Mama

Get it on Amazon: Black Mama, White Mama
It’s billed as “Chicks in Chains” starring Pam Grier. Need we say more?

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)

Get it on Amazon: Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Russ Meyer’s classic film with wonderful 60s makeup, hunks, fast cars and fast women.

To Die For (1995)

Get it on Amazon: To Die For
Nicole Kidman kills.

The Girl Most Likely To…

The Girl Most Likely To…
It was made for TV but we love it anyway since the fat girl in high school gets revenge.

Kill Bill – Volumes One & Two

Get it on Amazon: Kill Bill – Volumes One & Two
Bill really had it coming.

Monster (2003)

Get it on Amazon: Monster
The real crime? Christina Richie’s massive forehead.

Aliens (1986)

Get it on Amazon: Aliens
Two females that don’t take any crap battle to death.

Showgirls (1995)

Get it on Amazon: Showgirls
Did you really think we’d forget this one? It seems we quote this movie in just about every show we do. This is the film that taught us all to be careful on the stairs darlin’.

For the first time since 1943 there are a whopping 10 nominees for Best picture, a move made by the Academy to make room for “populist” films and attract a larger audience to the annual telecast.  There was much talk in film circles when the announcement was made that it would be a failure both commercially (the top 10 films would still not be big box office successes) or make the awards a critical joke (films would be nominated purely for commercial success).  I think the resulting nominees this morning are fairly solid with only a couple examples of films that made it to the list mostly for their commercial appeal.

The nominees for Best Picture are:

Inglorious Basterds, the Quentin Tarantino Nazi revenge fantasia.
Up in the Air, Ivan Reitman’s Corporate hatchet man flick starring George Clooney.
Up, the latest Pixar animated adventure about a grumpy old man and a flying house.
A Serious Man, the Coen Brothers latest about a Jewish man at the end of his ropes in 60′s Minnesota.
Precious, Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire the story of a troubled inner city teen
An Education a British 60′s-set coming of age story
District 9 the science fiction apartheid allegory
The Hurt Locker the Iraq war bomb diffuser drama
The Blindside the Sandra Bullock football weepy
Avatar an obscure art film about corporate greed and colonialism, er um, the James Cameron Sci-fi juggernaut.

The exciting news about the expanded field is that it has made room for an animated film in Pixars Up (though sadly a year too late for the sublime Wall-e) and for 2 Sci-fi films with District 9 and Avatar.  Animation has been shut out by a separate category for nearly 2 decades and genre fare like sci-fi rarely makes the cut.

The bad news is that the expanded field made room for Avatar and the Blindside, two films whose best attributes are not their overall excellence as well made films but their broad popular commercial appeal.  Avatar is undoubtedly a game changing technical marvel and the the movie event of the year , if not the decade,  and the most commercially successful film of all time, worthy of every technical award it can gather, but it is narratively weak and naive.  Blindside is little more than a Lifetime movie for television with a big star and is in my opinion a cliched emotionally manipulative melodrama.  I personally would have been thrilled to see Star Trek or Moon in the Avatar slot and A Single Man or the Fantastic Mr Fox in place of Blindside.

The acting nominations turned out pretty much as anyone paying aqny attention over the last few weeks would have predicted.  Best Actor noms: George Clooney (Up in the Air), Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart), Colin Firth (A Single Man), Jeremy Renner (the Hurt Locker) and Morgan Freeman (Invictus). Best Actress: Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia), Sandra Bullock (Blindside), Carey Mulligan (An Education), Helen Mirren (the Last Station), and Gabourey Sidibe (Precious).  Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterds), Woody Harrelson (the Messenger), Matt Damon (Invictus), Christopher Plummer (The Last Station),  and Stanley (The Lovely Bones).  Best Supporting Actress Mo’Nique (Precious), Vera Farmiga  and Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air), Penelope Cruz (Nine) and the one surprise: Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart).

The Best Director nominees feature a battle between exes James Cameron (Avatar) and Katherine Bigelow (the Hurt Locker).  Joining them are Jason Reitman (Up in the Air), Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds), and Lee Daniels (Precious).

I can’t say that there will be much suspense as to the possible winners, unless theres a major change in the air in regards to Hollywood politics and popularity in  the next month, but I’m still looking forward to the Oscars on March 7.  It’s my Superbowl, only with evening gowns and hot men whose faces I can actually see.

Actress Rena Riffel, who played the dim-witted dancer Penny Hope in the camp classic “Showgirls,” seems to be single handedly revitalizing interest in the film and turn it into a bona fide franchise.

Rena is creating her own YouTube movies as “Penny Hope” which include some of the insane dialogue from the film.

I’m not sure if she’s in on the joke or not, but you gotta love her for trying! I’m still thinking we could organize Goddesscon, a 3-day conference for fans of the film, in the same spirit of a Star Trek convention. But where to hold it? In Las Vegas of course! With a night out at the Cheetah and a show at the Stardust!

Now, over a decade later, I think everyone’s ready to embrace the insanity of the film and possibly create a sequel, or even a prequel to the movie. What would the film’s plot be?

With Fantastic Mr Fox, an adaptation of a Raold Dahl book,  Anderson has finally found a story, a collection of characters, and a particular way of cinematically telling the story that is a perfect match to his own odd world view.  Who knew that stop motion animation would seem to be the medium Anderson was born to work in?

The film tells the story of a fox, Mr Fox, a smart, sophisticated, urbane poultry thief who gives up his dangerous ways for marriage and family and settles into an unsatisfying domestic life as a columnist, husband and father.  But Fox eventually finds this life dull and wants to move out of his boring literal “hole in the ground” to a home in a more upscale residence in a “tree with a view.”  Against the advice of his Badger lawyer, he takes up residence in a tree with a spectacular view of three farms which are overflowing with chickens, cider and turkey. These seductive reminders of the thrills of his former career are too much for him to resist and he puts his family, his home and his entire community of woodland creatures into the cross hairs of the farm owners, the delightfully evil Boggis, Bunce and Bean.

One of the quirks of Anderson’s films is a particular style of art direction and costume design that seems to  float in a weird hard to place time continuum.  The fashions, technology, architecture, interiors and even the character’s interests feel old fashioned, modernist, and hiply new all at the same time.  This visual atmosphere is completely captured by the stop motion technique, and the character design that seem lifted from a 1970′s Rankin/Bass Christmas special and yet have a completely edgy independent voice that is very much rooted in our current sensibilities.  The animals exude marvelous charm and wonderfully individualized personalities.  The sets are perfect and all the more fascinating  because of the awareness that these are kind of elaborate dollhouses built on a massive scale for Anderson and company to play around in.

The voice acting is pitch perfect.  George Clooney exudes that modern Cary Grant charm of his even when it’s all coming from a 12 inch fake fur fox.  Meryl Streep’s long suffering wife is just another in a long line of great roles for her.  It is Jason Schwartzman though, a longtime collaborator of Anderson, who is the real scene stealer as the insecure jealous Ash, Mr Fox’s diminutive son who must compete for his father’s attention against the perfection, good looks and athleticism of his visiting cousin, Kristofferson.

Fantastic Mr Fox is a complete delight.  Fascinating, compelling, rich and a wonderful match of filmmaker, medium, character and story.  A

Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire is, in case you have been living under a rock, the Oprah certified, Tyler Perry approved (and produced by both) adaptation of the novel in the title about a 16 year old black girl pregnant with her second child and living what can only be described as the (African) American Nightmare.  Poor, fat, black, pregnant, the child of a mother who literally hates her and only sees her as a condition begrudgingly needed for a welfare check, an incestuous rapist for a father, an inner city school where kids actually proudly raise their hands to proclaim they didn’t do their homework, Precious is in a cycle that is utterly hopeless.  People like her just don’t stand a chance, and this film opens with complete hopelessness that feels insurmountable.

We’re taken on a journey of self-empowerment that manages, despite the names involved in its production (who let’s face it are known for their earnestness more than their artistic risk taking) avoiding all the cliches that we would normally expect in this kind of film.  It is anchored by two stand-out performances: newcomer Gabourey “Gaby” Sidibe as the title character and the comedian Mo’Nique as her monster of a mother.  Mo’Nique is likely to appear on many year end “Best of” and awards lists, and I think Ms Sidibe could find herself there too.  Incidentally, there’s a scene of Mo’Nique in a jump suit that had me planning next year’s Halloween costume.

The film’s cast also features a gay favorite, none other than Ms Mariah Carey as a welfare counselor.  Let me just say that I am 100% convinced that Ms Carey, in order to shed the stink of “Glitter” demanded in her contract that she be allowed to not wear any makeup and had a lip wig made for her in order to get some screen cred.  I just found it a little ridiculous, since even a welfare counselor wears makeup.  That said she was perfectly serviceable in the role and didn’t embarrass herself.  There’s also some lesbo action (which Oprah must have had inserted in the film, don’t all her movies have a little sister on sister action?  I kid.) to keep things queer, and Lenny Kravitz for a little bit of man candy.

The most surprising thing to me was that the film is actually so well directed and had some great cinematic touches and treats in the way the story was told.  I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but this isn’t your straight up run of the mill inspirational tale.   A

After we taped today’s show, our good pal Jason Smith shot this cute video of us wondering why lebsians love the Terminator movies so much.

Christmas films expose our anxieties and our desires around the pressure from both our families and society which urges us to spend, spend, spend. Whether it’s time or money, we are spending something and in the end, we feel helpless and worn out!

We love it, we hate it, it brings us joy and makes us miserable. Christmas time is here!

On today’s show San Francisco’s movie maven Peaches Christ joins us to share with us fabulous Christmas themed movies every gay man must see.

Santa is often central to many Christmas themed movies as complex symbol for good and evil and we wonder if his role is that the ultimate stalker. After all, he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. Why does he not have any other hobbies?

We ask what is the true meaning of Christmas anyway? Is it people, presents or is it murder and mayhem?

Join us as we talk about A Christmas Story, the Mexican Santa Claus Movie, and the evil Joan Collins fighting a murderous Santa Claus in the Tales from the Crypt video to the right. It is so campy and 70s, you’ll love it.

Also, other horror films that take place during the holidays- The Shining, Black Christmas and Jack Frost which is about a murderous snowman.

And, Marc’s favorite movies for the Christmas season which feature women having strange babies or the mysterious pregnancies such as in The Omen, Rosemary’s Baby, or the video trailer to the right which features Barbara Eden as a woman who is about to give birth to a baby alien. If anyone has a video of The Stranger With In, we’d love to borrow it.

Merry Christmas and please survive the holidays-don’t drink and drive.

Featured Movies:
A Christmas Story
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Santa Claus
A Christmas Carol
Scrooged
Gremlins
It’s a Wonderful Life
Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
Black Christmas
The Shining
Jack Frost
Christmas Evil
Edward Scissorhands
Rosemary’s Baby
The Omen
The Fly
Alien Resurrection
The Nightmare Before Christmas

Featured Music:
Darlene Love – It’s Christmas, of Course:iTunes | Amazon | Site

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