They’re back. Last year’s most bloodless and sexless vampires have returned to the screen in part two of the Twilight franchise. By now you have to be living under a rock to not know about the Twilight movies based on a series of books that are very popular with virginal teen girls. The first film catapulted Robert Pattinson to international stardom and he was even named one of People’s Sexiest Men. His “are they or aren’t they” off-screen romance with co-star Kristen Stewart is a ever present fixture on the tabloids.
The first film was frankly a bit dull. I’m happy to say there has been progress made, but sadly not much. This chapter focuses on vampire Edward’s pointless and head-scratching decision to ostensibly leave his love Bella for her own protection and Bella’s long-frustrating struggle to (not) get over him. She drove me crazy and I just wanted to reach up to the screen and shake her.
Stepping up to take Edward’s place is Bella’s friend Jacob, played by the delicious hunk of jailbait, Taylor Lautner. Jacob is dealing with his own supernatural problems tied to his coming of age as a werewolf- a werewolf who kills vampires. And he takes his shirt off a lot! Apparently, werewolves have very high body temperatures so even though the Pacific Northwest setting of the film never seems to rise above 50 degrees, Jacob and his less hunky friends spend most of the movie running around in next to nothing. It saved the movie for me.
Otherwise there isn’t much here. The acting is pretty average with Kristen Stewart pulling out the best performance. Guest appearances by Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen are decent but mere blips. The dialogue is average. The special effects are an improvement over the laughable ones in the first film but still just barely manage to thrill. And again the heat of the romance is lukewarm and sexless.
Unless you’re a fan of the franchise, I would suggest waiting until this one comes out on video, and then make someone else rent it. Grade: C
VIDEO: Twilight Breaking Dawn Trailer
PHOTO: Taylor Lautner’s New Moon Poster Photoshopped Abs from Another Model
This gif Speaks for Itself
PHOTO: Twilight Goes Gay
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Comments
There should have been more steam rising from him.
If it weren’t for all the man-candy in this movie, it would jiust be a messed up film teaching young women to stick with men who physically abuse them.
But DAYUM! I’d sure like to smoke Taylor Lautner’s peace pipe. Hey how are ya?
And Robert Pattinson looked like the love child of Cesar Romero as the Joker and Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford.
You guys are killing me! Bella is a sap isn’t she? I wanted to scream “get over him, he left you in danger you dumb twat” but I’m too polite in a theater. The whole thing was so pathetic. Better than the first though.
I’m really surprised by how hard it is to find god photos of Taylor Lautner without a shirt. The official site has none, even though it’s the film’s biggest selling point
I found a flickr gallery of Taylor pics
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63057230@N00/sets/72157622827459412/
Thanks to these pictures and the trailers I’ve seen… I think I’ve seen as much of this movie that I need to.
Curtis, you should have screamed ““get over him, he left you in danger you dumb twat- just to senselessly further the plot!”
I was also reallly dissapointed that Kellan Luntz’s brief appearance in the movie didn’t even show him ONCE without his shirt one. I want to see him and pocahontas getting it on. I bet they do in real life. They work out together, I bet they shower together too!
Glad I could watch it for free. At the beginning it was very boring. When Jacob appeared the first time half naked with nice short hair it got more interesting. He and his athletic friends are the the only selling point of this movie.
I don’t understand straight girls. Why did she not forget about her bloody vampire ? Jacob was obviously more attractive, hotter and more likable.
Oh well, I guess he will have more fun living with his athletic friends and this werewolf girl alias fag hag in the woods anyway.
What would you rather have a hot young thing for a short while or immortality?
A hot young thing for a while and then get old together.
The immortality is also not guaranteed as a vampire, you still can get killed.
I forgot to mention Jacob’s horrid hair in the first 1/4 of the film. Terrible. And his teeth were just a bit too white for a teenager living on a Reservation in the Pacific Northwest. Very distracting. It may be because he has such a cute smile that they really gleemed, or maybe the contrast since he was the only member of the principle cast who wasn’t pasty and white.
The whole teeth whitening thing makes any film or TV show that takes place outside of contemporary LA or NY kind of unbelievable, especially if the people are supposed to be working class. Don’t even get me started on what it does to period films. Brilliant white straight teeth in Victorian England – I don’t think so.