You heard me right: Pole Dancing for Christ! Ex-stripper, “Crystal Deans,” teaches her fellow church members how to work the pole in the name of her Lord and Savior: Jesus Christ. Despite the fact that Lucite is Latin for Lucifer, all are welcome to her studio the 2nd Sunday of every month to dance to upbeat, contemporary Christian music (Jonas Brothers?). You see darlin, the Bible is open to interpretation and in Crystal Dean’s version, Jesus likes the pole and the hole.
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Hollywood’s full of pretty people and I’ve got all the ugly details.
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At my church we “Pop that Coochie for God” every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and we “Drop it Like We’re Burning in Hell” every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. We rest and count our tips on Sunday, of course. Holla, Jesus!