FOF #661 – Coming Together

Dec 4, 2007 · 1985 views

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It’s getting a little sexy here today. Frederick Smith, author of “Down for Whatever” joins us to talk about his spanking brand new book “Right Side of the Wrong Bed” a delicious novel about a […]


  1. Another great show. As a caucasian, I am not really expressed to the African American and Latino side of homosexuality. In Milwaukee, the Gay Black and Latino Community kind of segregates itself from the rest of the community. I have never understood why, I hate it, I don’t understand why we can’t all hang together. There is even a Milwaukee Black Gay Pride, serperate from the normal festival. Am I just a corny, misunderstanding white guy, or is this a normal circumstance everywhere else, cause when I travel, it seems that everyone mingles there.

    Anyways, another great show again. Keep it cummin.

  2. Great show !

    Always wanted to order the black sexy t-shirt. After you announced only 2 are left in size M, directly ordered one.
    Hopefully it was not too late.

  3. Love the show when r u doing a show like this but about Latinos fausto?

  4. Mo says:

    I agree that it is interesting about the kind of separation that occurs sometimes within GLBT communities – I really don’t know how to explain it at times. My partner is caucasian and when we traveled to Louisville a couple of years ago we experienced some hostile stares and comments at one of the larger gay clubs there that left me speechless. I never really thought it would be that big of a deal – especially in 2000 something!

  5. Mikey Dee says:

    wait…so what happened when stella got her groove back. Another comment I wanted to make was that black women DO have gaydar. Most people just want to deny or dismiss their hunches

  6. Cliff Dix says:

    There is a separate Black Gay Pride in Atlanta as well. But that doesn’t mean Atlanta Gay Pride is a whites only event. If you pick up a gay magazine like Out or The Advocate or even porn, the gay community is depicted as white 20 year old buffed males. I think that sets us up for division. So we form our own cliques. We do not all feel that the mainstream gay community represents us. I am guilty of this as well. All my friends are older and in long term relationships. I feel more comfortable with them and I think that is where this all really comes from.

  7. I totally concur with you Cliff, our Pride isn’t by far “whites only” but obviously the the BGP is kinda black only…obviously, it’s in the name. I don’t understand that as I call it…..”the most inclusive minority” why we can’t be more together as a community.

    and it is odd, the gey community is kinda depicted in what you say, 20 yr old buffered males, why is that, is the the strongest image that excists, a healthy white male? why not an image of togetherness, a bond, and all encompassing image…prolly because there isn’t one, or is that what the rainbow was supposed to be??

  8. Polo Drew says:

    Great show Fausto and Marc. I think the So Good but So Bad relationship is something we all can relate to.

    I was thinking about the whole In the Closet versus on Down Low thing and I don’t think being on the Down Low equates to being in the closset or is a racial thing. Seems to me that anyone can be In or Out of the Closet (or both just to different people I suppose). Being In the Closet is about hiding who you are (Gay, Straight whatever) from other people. From what I can tell the Down Low is about people that are in a straight relationship, usually married, and having gay sex or a relationship on the side without being honest with your partner. That just sounds like cheating to me. While it seems to be only used to refer to black men in the media, I think we should reclaim Down Low to mean anyone that is married and having gay sex in secret. Larry Craig is on the Down Low…. LOL

    Later guys, great interview. Keep the coming.


  9. Frederick Smith was awesome as was Marc today. PBS did a wonderful program entitled, Hip Hop Beyond Beats and Rhymes. The filmmaker examines masculinity, violence, misogyny, and homophobia in hip hop culture. The fiilmaker makes a connection between the corporate boardroom of record execs who control the music and media TV outlets by analogizing gangster rap videos to D.W. Griffiths birth of a nation film in which we first see the image of the “dangerous and wild black man.” The film does a great job establishing the connection of the rise of gangster rap and the acquisition of smaller labels by corporate behemoths in the 80’s when the message of hip hop changed from one of empowerment to the current message we hear today.

    I really love when you guys explore these cultural issues. You guys are so right on in your examination! Thanks for presenting another side of the community. 🙂

  10. Curtis says:

    I have to say that I take issue with your characterization of the term “down low” or “DL” and “media coverage” of it as somehow racist. Isn’t this a slang term created by African Americans? I don’t see “down low” or “DL” being promoted by any mainstream media, it’s places like Oprah and your previous guest the sex show host from Atlanta who are out there talking about the down low. There would be no reason for the “media’ to describe the former Governor of New Jersey or Larry Craig’s situation as being on the down low. Down Low is slang. It isn’t evidence of racism or a double standard that the media didn’t use that term to describe their situations. Perhaps this language was used by predominantly black media outlets to describe their situation? I don’t know. If a prominent black politician were found to be closeted I doubt very much the CBS evening news or the NY Times would run headlines that he was on the Down Low.

    Don’t toss the racism accusation out there were it doesn’t apply. It’s too serious an issue to be trivialized in this way.

  11. Xavi says:

    once again, an excellent show. two comments:

    re: down low. I disagree with sexy Frederick. To me down low describes a social phenomena that describes lower middle class urban church attending married african american men that have sex with men. Upper middle class white guys (or black guys, for that matter) who described themselves as on the down low aren’t. they are closeted gay men. its a lot easier to say down low than lower middle class urban church attending married closeted guy. 😉

    re: slang. i’ve come a long way with this. when i hear a person say “axe” instead of “ask” I now put them in the same bucket as people who say “warsh” instead of “wash”. before i was a lot more critical of axe than warsh. Now i realize that both are culturally correct. i don’t like either, but at least i’m now accepting of it.

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