FOF #763 – After School Special

May 18, 2008 · 114685 views

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Ever wonder what Amanda Steinstein was like in high school? Pretty much the way she was today. Surprise surprise! Join us for a very special Feast of Fools as Amanda is reunited twenty years later […]

    Comments

  1. Superboy says:

    Okay, I’m totally confused. Amanda is NOT a trannie lesbian?

  2. epilonious says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. It was sort of neat to hear Amanda and Lucas catch up… and more interesting to hear Amanda’s gears shifting. It appears that the name shift was easy to deal with… but the pronoun shift… not so much.

    It was also sweet that Lucas didn’t get in any way upset when Amanda had a slip of the ‘s’… just sort of giggled and assured Amanda it was okay and it takes a bit to get used-to.

  3. Cliff Dix says:

    I wonder if Amanda feels a loss because the friend she knew as Louise is gone. I mean if you were friends with someone growing up and suddenly they are no longer that person anymore is it a big deal? Do you mourn the loss of your old friend but move on and be happy with the new package they are in? Because deep down they are the same person and you still have that same shared past. I just think personally it would take me a while to wrap my mind around it.
    Thank you to Amanda and Lukas for sharing their reunion with us.

  4. That’s an interesting question, Cliff…I think I found much more than I lost. I had lost touch with Louise (crossed paths in email plus her general non-use of the interweb). I did miss her, but we’d generally drifted apart. When I found Lukas, it never occurred to me to keep missing Louise*. After speaking with him, I know my friend from high school is the same as ever. Better even. I’m so happy for him. Now if we can just get him a faster connection than that dial-up he’s using, he could listen to the show!

    -AS

    *There are those who will mourn her boobs, but that’s about it.

  5. jarzium says:

    love you amanda!! you should be back more!! i miss you!!

    just finished listening to this episode, hilarious as usual. i burst out laughing uncontrollably when fausto said ‘how many times did you guys get beaten up by the football team?’

    jokes aside though, it’s quite an interesting interview with lukas, and he was being quite honest about his feelings and sexuality.

  6. Cliff are you going to also argue that by coming out gay, the straight person you were is now dead?

    Just cause you change your name and gender doesn’t mean you’re not the same person still. They aren’t dead, they just sound and look different, and have a different letter under “gender” in their drivers license. But they are still the same person you once loved.

  7. Cliff Dix says:

    I am not saying that the person doing the transitioning is a totally different person. I know deep down they are the same plus a lot more happy. No matter if you are transitioning from straight to gay or changing sexual identity. I was more curious about how it felt for someone outside of the trans person say a friend or relative. They have only know this person as one sex so when they transition their has to be some kind of loss for the friend or relative. But as Amanda said above she knows her friend is even better and happier.

  8. Cliff Dix says:

    …And when I say loss I mean loss for that old identity not the actual person. If say my sister transitioned into a man. It would take a while to get used to and I would miss my sister but on the other hand I have gained a brother who is still the same person I grew up with and love.

  9. Matty says:

    Great show you guys. Glad to hear your return Amanda, I’ve missed you and your lovely trademark Amanda voice! It was quite interesting to hear Amanda and Lucas’ reunion as it happened. I appreciate and love that you let us all in on this wonderful event. Thanks for sharing it with me and everyone else it was a truly unique experience. Fausto was right Lucas does sound hot, hope to see pictures someday. Well another great show you guys and it was great getting to hear you Amanda hope your on more often!

    All my love,
    Matty

  10. Henry says:

    It is so wonderful to hear Amanda! you have been missed. I was wondering when she/you’d be back on. As for today’s show, i enjoyed it. Thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your lives by letting us listen to such a wonderful experience. I am reminded of those in my life whom i have not kept in touch with. Great show, keep it up!
    Much love, Henry

  11. Marc Felion says:

    Cliff, I just don’t understand why you hate trans people so much.

  12. Marc Felion says:

    Of course that is just a joke.

  13. PureeTofu says:

    Okay, I’ve got to sit with Amanda and I think a lot of others, I understand the mindset that you’re gender A trapped in gender B’s body.

    Reference:
    http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=428009

    And I can’t fathom wanting to become pregnant if you were transitioning of a man.

  14. PupDon says:

    What a fascinating show. And thank you to Amanda for sharing this amazing part of your life with us (not to mention that faboo pic of you in the 80’s). I think I always get up about transgender issues because one of my closest friends is a trans woman (m to f) and I was there with her all through her transition, watching her find her way in the pre-internet early 90’s without a support group, website, chat friends, yahoo groups, or myspace to help her. With the exception of the friends she made at the clinic where she had her surgery she pretty much had to make it up as she went along. And things most of us take for granted could be really problematic. I remember sitting at dinner with her one night when this girl came up to our table and said “John??? Is that you? It’s me Martha, we went to high school together… you look so different!” Now, luckily it was just me with her but that could have really been a problem if she was with someone who didn’t know. Not to mention the fact that this girl said it loud enough that everyone sitting around us heard, so my friend had to invite her to sit with us and politely and quietly explain that “John” had become a woman. And not all trans people want everyone to know. She always wanted to blend in to society and just be a woman, but as long as she lived near the town where we grew up she couldn’t get away from people recognizing her or people who would find out and take great satisfaction in telling everyone she worked with or hung out with her little secret.

    I remember this girl who was usually a really sweet girl finding out my friend had slept with a guy she knew. She actually said, “I can’t wait to tell everyone how he slept with a girl who used to be a MAN”. Now, aside from whether or not my friend disclosed her trans status to that guy, or if he knew and didn’t care or whatever the story there was, what would this girl telling people prove other than to hurt everyone involved? Just because she found it wickedly funny.

    And to comment on something that was talked about in the show… I’m not saying this specifically about or to anyone, just simply an observation on my experiences. I’m not saying I’m right or wrong, or that anyone else is, this is just how I feel…

    It’s my policy to refer to a trans person in the past tense of the gender they are today. I know that’s how my friend prefers it and until I’m told otherwise that’s how I proceed. Even if everyone knows a person is trans, they changed their gender for a reason and calling their current person by a gender they do not identify with or referring to their past selves by a gender they wish they hadn’t been, can be really hurtful. I know some people say that they have a hard time changing and that this thing might seem inconvenient to you but it can be really hurtful to another. And really, which is worse? I would much rather inconvenience myself than to cause another pain.

  15. Marc Felion says:

    I like your policy about gender pronouns.

    You think we’ll ever get to the point where our pronouns won’t even have a gender?

    he or she = trans
    “Does trans want to go to the store with me?”

    him or her= tranny
    “Ask tranny if we can go now.”

  16. What a great show, guys. And Amanda, I’m so glad you’re back! The idea of having a friend who used to be a “she” but is now a “he” is a bit shocking at first…but like a lot of other stuff, being exposed to such things is a great way to learn about them and not be so shocked. I have to say I really like that about this show; you cover topics that are important to gay culture and help lessen the sometimes negative or just plain “weird” stigma associated with things like sex changes. You guys rock.

  17. Persikov says:

    Great show! I was thrilled to hear Amanda again and it was fun to be a voyeur on her reunion with her old pal.

    Note to Mark -> Turkish has no gender in its pronouns, as is true with many languages. It makes referring to an unknown person less complicated, but it doesn’t lead to some genderless utopia.

    Also to Amanda/ anyone interested -> I understand why Amanda has such a hard time with the idea of a “man” having a child. Over half the population of this earth can have children in their lives, namely women, and now you’re telling me that you no longer want to be part of that group but do want to participate in one of the defining activities of the group? It doesn’t fly. I never really understood the idea that “I always thought I was a man.” The reasons are usually ridiculous: “I liked trucks” (fine, girls can like trucks!), “I wanted to be an electrician” (whatever, girls can want that), “I wanted to support a family” (ok, women can do that).

    But I REALLY don’t understand “I always thought I was a man – and I want to have a baby!”

  18. Marc Felion says:

    It is ok to not understand a person’s motivations and still respect their decisions.

  19. Ben Consoli says:

    It is wonderful to hear Amanda back on FOF. This was a great show guys. I’m always fascinated by trans men and woman and their identity struggles. I’m happy to live in a time where people can literally be anything and anyone they choose.

  20. Persikov says:

    Wait, so we’re supposed to give up our ability for rational thought just because “identity” is concerned? Why? Why would I “respect” a decision that a person cannot explain?

    Imagine that one day I decided that I wanted to give up my Jewish identity. That unfortunate verse is Leviticus was getting me down, so I said “enough with Judaism”. I would certainly hope everyone in my life didn’t blithely “respect” my decision, but shook me up and said “You moron, the largest branch of Judaism in the country allows its rabbis to perform gay marriages. Leaving the religion because you’re gay is really stupid.” If I believed that Christ was the risen lord, it’s bit different. That’s a real reason to leave Judaism. And I would want people to respect that position. But real respect isn’t saying “Oh, that’s groovy” to everything.

    Of course, gender is an identity people hold even closer than religion. But I don’t see why there can’t be smart AND stupid reasons for changing it, and I don’t see why we would respect the stupid ones, especially given that the process is often irreversible.

  21. Marc Felion says:

    Well, I don’t understand ALL the reasons why anyone wants to be Jewish, but I respect that they are, or choose to be, or are chosen by God, or however someone is Jewish.

  22. Hi, Fructose Cornsyrup!

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. But thank you.

    Pup, it’s funny that you would dig my photo from the 80s when you’re the only person here who knew me before the 90s! Your point about pronouns is good…my friend was always a “he” even when he didn’t know it, so from now on, I went to high school with HIM. Unless he tells me otherwise.

    If Lukas could still get pregnant and decided to have a baby, I would support HIM and tell my friends HE is pregnant. But deep down I’d be thinking “you go, girl!”

    Persikov…I don’t know if religion is a valid comparison to gender because it comes strictly from outside, whereas gender comes from within. Maybe it’s more like being born a blonde and realizing that deep down, you’re a brunette. Then again, I was born Jewish and there’s nothing I can do about it (Thanks a lot, matriarchal lineage!). I think Judaism is the only religion that is also a heritage, just short of a nationality. I just choose not to practice.

    Leviticus notwithstanding, there are valid reasons to quit ALL religions. Atheist activists will tell you you can’t “cherrypick” the parts of the bible you like and ignore the rest. Some of the parts people like are universal truths, like don’t kill people and love that neighbor. But if you believe it strictly because the bible tells you to, then you also have to believe the part where it tells you how to handle your slaves (it’s in there). I don’t understand anyone who can overlook that whole Leviticus thing and claim to follow the rest of the book. Especially considering that Leviticus, like the rest of the book, is not the word of god but rather the word of men in power trying to control other people based on their fears (and a modicum of knowledge).

    -AS

  23. Myron stienstien says:

    input your comment here…As the father of Amanda Stienstien, I was very proud of the interview. All of you did a great job. I knew Lucas when she was in highschool with Amanda. They and thier “outside the box” friends were a wonderful creative group. I am really happy that Amanda has re-connected with him.
    I knew all the other kids mentioned on the show and every thing about them was correct.
    I can see that this show really touched people.

  24. Myron Steinstein says:

    Whoops: It’s Steinstein, Amanda and I could never agree on the spelling!

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