FOF #911 – Michael’s Plea

Jan 15, 2009 · 141833 views

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At the age of 15, West Virginia resident Michael met Wisconsinite Dean Juenke online. As their relationship grew more intense Michael decided to come out to his parents and reveal that he was having a […]

    Comments

  1. Marc Felion says:

    You shouldn’t worry about Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity or their fans think, they’ll always have a reason to be fearful.

  2. Marcin says:

    I agree that the case is politically toxic and if Obama has any political sense, he wouldn’t touch it with a 12 foot pole. That being said, just the fact that Dean is being called a pedophile by some people shows how hysterical our reactions can be – a pedophile is a person attracted to prepubescent children – that’s the medical term. Nothing in this story indicates that Dean is one.

    I am all for protecting children from sexual predators and for isolating pedophiles from the society so that they cannot can do harm to children, but this story is not about pedophilia.

    Also, Christian, I believe you are wrong about Europe – most European countries set age of consent between 14 and 16 – not 18.

  3. Marcin says:

    Michael, you are saying: “Personally speaking, even if Schnyer was 18 at the time, Juenke, still being much older, still falls into the category of predator.”

    Personally, I find it difficult to fathom why Michael would be attracted to Dean, but a lot of straight people find it difficult to fathom why I would be attracted to another man. The question here really is where a real concern about child abuse stops and simple prejudice against relationships unlike the ones we enjoy begins?

    It’s in human nature to condemn everything that is different from what we consider “normal” or desirable – doubly so in sex, because a lot of emotions is involved – and gays, despite being victims of such prejudice, are not free from it themselves.

    I’m in no way supporting any NAMBLA-style thing here, nor – like many people here – would I find a relationship with someone significantly younger than me appealing – but I am concerned that’s it is easy to cross this line here.

  4. Michael says:

    Marcin, even though I often disagree with our country’s laws (gay marriage), I believe that laws are necessary. I think the vast majority of us believe that an adult going after a minor should be illegal. But simply because a 17-year-old has a birthday and turns 18, doesn’t mean he or she has the maturity to make good decisions. We know there are trolls that won’t cross the legal line, but are just waiting to pounce on a newly 18-year-old. I don’t see this as healthy behavior. Legal, yes, but just not healthy. But, if 18 is old enough to hold a gun and fight for our country, then it should be old enough to make a decision to date a 98-year-old if that is what one wishes to do and I believe said 18-year-old will learn from his experiences and mistakes. But, personally speaking …

    I actually don’t find the idea of a relationship with someone ‘signifigantly younger’ so appealing. A younger face to look at, sure. A body that isn’t sagging, sure. (But that doesn’t seem to be a problem for Schnyer.) THAT’S the superficial part. Ideally, I believe someone closer to my own maturity level is most appropriate. There’s a legal line to cross and there’s one’s own personally sense of appropriate behavior. I just believe in a level playing field. Schnyer is more mature it seems than most (gay) guys his age, but still quite naive. I mean, does he really think a President Obama will commute this sentence? Not a chance in hell.

    Laws can and should only go so far. But there is a built-in checks and balances system in society. It’s called stigma. Stigma will always surround a person like Juenke, and it should.

  5. seck says:

    Dean needs a good attorney–not his victim yapping on Youtube!

    You could tell in the interview that Mark and Fausto were a bit skeptical of some of the aspects of Schnyer’s story. The guy is lucky he only got two years.

    I have to wonder if Dean looked like Jon Hamm if this would be less creepy.

  6. Michael says:

    Exactly, Seck. My GUESS is, the kid wanted to come out a blazin’ and MAKE his parents notice. Well, they noticed. So in a way, Juenke is as much a victim of the kid as the kid was of Juenke. When Schnyer is more mature, he’ll realize what his responsibility was in all this.

    As someone else said, Juenke is lucky he only got two years. Schnyer should forget about a sentence commutation from President Obama (gosh, I love saying President Obama) and think about the rest of the gay community. Sure. Like we really want blow our one serious shot at a sitting president taking us seriously because of a situation that could have and should been easily prevented by simply having a little self-control and patience.

  7. Kendall says:

    I had the curious experience to have listened to this podcast the same day our local mayor Sam Adams came clean about a relationship of his own – with an 18year old.

    I certainly wish Michael the best – he’s got a lot of life ahead of him!

    Marc and Fausto, I really appreciated hearing about his story.

  8. BP512 says:

    I had a strong reaction to this story as well and I’ve chosen to write to the president in support of Michael and Dean’s cause. Of course I realize how futile this seems but I’ve thrown my effort into other causes for the GLBT community that haven’t yet succeeded. I felt I couldn’t refrain from helping, even if it’s in a small way.

  9. Michael says:

    BP512, futile is absolutely correct. You would do better by writing for right for the gay community as a whole. THIS case is not part of the gay community. It’s an isolated case of a confused adolescent who wanted to get his parents’ attention by bursting out of the closet by shocking them that he has a much older internet lover and now happens to be a selfish adult who is putting what HE wants above the greater cause for all of us.

    I can give credit to the parade freaks and the dikes on bikes because at least they take the hammer on the head and cause the pendulum to come settling down to those of us who are ‘normal.’ Juenke and especially Schnyer, I can credit only with dillusion, selfishness and lack of self-control.

  10. Marcin says:

    Michael, I agree this is not a gay rights issue, but who said that gays should only champion “gay rights” causes they support? You may disagree with BP512’s decision to support the cause on its merits, but frankly I don’t get the mindset otherwise.

    After all, there are arguably more worthy causes than, say, gay marriage just as well – there are children starving to death in Somalia or people being murdered around the world for their race, creed, sexual orientation or political beliefs. You can just as well say that if we champion gay rights rather than dealing with these issues, we are selfish and shortsighted.

  11. Marcin says:

    For the record (and sorry about double post), I don’t think anyone (Michael Schnyer included) is presenting this as a “gay rights issue” – it’s an issue concerning rights of some individuals who happen to be gay, but that’s it; so I don’t understand why some people here are arguing as if this was the case – it seems to me to be a strawman debate tactics.

  12. Michael says:

    Marcin, I do like you that you do think things through.

    However, I didn’t think that Schnyer and Juenke are presenting this as a gay rights issue. And whatever their cause is … up with man/boy love … lowering the age of consent … it’s their cause. I’m not going to support it, but even that isn’t my point.

    My point is that IF (like he ever would) President Obama took this on, or IF this case got national media attention it certainly wouldn’t HELP the gay marriage cause and would most certainly hurt it when the Hannity’s of the world got wind of it. It’s a two-year sentence and by the time anything legal got going on it, Juenke and Schnyer would be on their postponed honeymoon, followed by their eventual divorce.

    And as BP512 stated, it’s futile to even ask President Obama to do anything about it, so why not just take your medicine?

  13. Marcin says:

    Well I agree with you on the “tactical” aspect of this, and as I said, I think the cause is lost and the matter pretty toxic. But that’s the “realistic” or “cynical” analysis.

    However I took an impression (perhaps wrongly) that some people here seem to conclude that only because the idea is somewhat naive, it is also wrong or morally evil.

    It’s difficult for me to express how I feel about this case, as there are so many conflicting feelings and aspects to it. If I were to summarize:

    1. From a personal perspective, I don’t understand this relationship.
    2. From a statistical perspective, I think this relationship is unlikely to last.
    3. From a legal perspective, it was definitely quite naive of Dean and Michael to pursue it, and I would say not very reasonable, as they could have just waited.
    4. From a political perspective, I think the case is highly toxic and could easily be used against gay movement by anti-gay haters.
    5. From a moral perspective, I condemn strongly pedophilia.

    But

    6. I do think that age of consent set at age 18 is unreasonable, and I think that the way it is done in Europe (between 14 and 16 depending on the country) is much closer to the mark where it should be. Ergo, I cannot not take into account the fact that, had the story happened in my country (Poland, which is quite conservative, itself), Dead would not be in prison right now.
    7. I do think that our modern society tends to go into hysterics over sexual offenses, and often ends up treating actually abominable cases (such as child abuse or rape) with cases that could be treated as a mere misdemeanor (say, mooning someone on the street). The fact that the latter can end up on a public sex offender list is an example of this hysteria, which is comparable to the red scare or the witch hunts of old.
    8. I can completely agree that Dean was naive, careless, unreasonable, and frankly speaking, unbelievably immature, but I don’t think he is an evil pedophile. I don’t think he should be in prison. Likewise, while Michael is naive in his hopes of getting a sentence commutation for Dean, I cannot blame him for doing this out of love or cannot, in good conscience, tell him not to do it.

  14. Curtis says:

    Wow lots of comments.

    And sadly most of them the predictable and trite judgments I expected.

    Life is rarely handed to us in easy envelopes with clear black and white labels for the situations that will always fit into the slots designated for “Love”, for “legal” for “Accepted Own Sexuality”, for “Doesn’t offend” and on and on. All of our rules and laws are random constructs and in matters of the heart especially, we are not always going to fall conveniently into these proscriptions. Our very existence as LGBT people is evidence that what society wants or demands of us to be acceptable or “normal” is not what life or nature or our hearts is going to actually give us. (isn’t this at the heart of the LGBT marriage equality fight?)

    There is absolutely no reason to disbelieve any part of this young man’s story. Dean wasn’t cruising for underage partners on a teen chat site, he was on an adults only site that Michael had gone on fraudulently (just as any of us who were curious about our sexuality as teens violated the rules to look at books, websites etc that were nominally taboo or denied to us). That a relationship developed between them that grew into a love is just something that happens when two people who share certain things, and provide each other with things that they both need meet. That their individual circumstances aren’t in line with a randomly selected age of consent law is incidental and tragic. It doesn’t mean their love is less real than that of any other couple.

    Our culture’s shame based relationship to sex puts us into a state of near apoplexy when we talk about these issues. If we didn’t at core believe that sex was somehow inherently damaging why would we even care about this? Dean and Michael are paying the price not for something that is inherently evil or wicked, but for our own inability as a society to deal honestly and openly about human sexuality especially as it relates to people who have physically matured but who have been prevented from emotionally maturing by a culture that fetishizes the mythic “innocence” of “childhood” and drags it out the definition of childhood beyond what is actually happening hormonally and physically with individuals.

    I do think there should be laws and regulations which punish real rape, real abuse, real harassment. But I believe personally that simply because partners are on opposite sides of an imaginary (and movable as demonstrated by the wide variety of age of consent definitions around the country and the globe) age line, doesn’t make their relationship troubling or damaging.

    I also wonder how many nominally adult relationships could survive careful scrutiny of the relative maturity levels, psychological health etc of the partners. Would the dynamics of most relationships be celebrated if examined under a microscope or debated about on public forums, or made subject to an hour long episode of 20/20 or the FOF? Would we find their individual motivations wanting, the particulars of their economic, or the inevitability of some imagined breakup reason to pass judgment and declare their relationship some how pathological or not up to snuff.

    Much has been made on here about Michael s relative acceptance of his own sexuality and how this contrasts with his ability to have a loving relationship. Are we only allowed to love if we’ve 100% figured out who were are as sexual beings, or are we allowed to fall in love before we’ve worked all that out? Could any of us pass this test? I feel like I discover new things about myself constantly. When is the journey over and we would be declared ready to love? Is there a test we must pass?

    I wish that people would get past our societal panic about this issue to really think about what is going on. I wish love would be encouraged where it happens instead of torn down so often.

  15. FML_in_SF says:

    In reading the comments here, I am unnerved at the willingness many have to toss aside the law for an expedient result. Do not misunderstand; I have deep sympathy for Michael Schnyer, not because his husband is incarcerated, but because he was failed on all fronts – by his family, by his community, and, most especially, by that very same husband. All those who should have guided him and looked out for his best interests failed him completely.

    Despite those failures, the law did precisely what it was designed to do. And on this forum, the law has been characterized as “festishiz[ing] the mythic ‘innocence’ of ‘childhood’” and as “imaginary”. These are enormously dangerous, and bizarrely casual, dismissals of the law. The law, like ethics, should not be situational or based on the capricious winds of circumstance. The law is established to protect particular classes of people (e.g. children, gays) from particular activities that society, as a whole, has determined are dangerous (e.g. child abuse, hate crimes).

    One may not always agree with the law, but as a general rule of thumb, the law shouldn’t be tossed to address one specific situation. Here, we have a situation where Dean Juenke knowingly and deliberately violated the law. It is not rocket science – hell, it’s not even common sense – to know that receiving provocative material from a 15 year old is a bad idea. The onus of putting a stop to the activity fell to him, and he failed in this task. And the law was triggered to protect Michael – all protestations to one side, the experience, mental acumen, and maturity of a 15 year-old are not the same as that of an adult. Those who argue otherwise start down the dangerous path to endorsing pedophilia. And are rather hypocritical because to avoid the “pedophilia dilemma” the nay-sayers must also start drawing so-called “imaginary lines.”

    To paraphrase one of the great lines from A Man for All Seasons, “when you tear down the law to get at the devil, what will be there when he turns to face you?” An expedient end to Michael’s situation is dangerous for us all because how will we (the LGBT folks, that is) argue that the tearing down of other laws (see Proposition 8 here in California) is unjustified? Hypocrisy is enormously unattractive. I do feel sympathy for Michael, but there comes a point when you have to ‘man-up’ and take your lumps – welcome to being an adult.

  16. Marcin says:

    Good post, Curtis. I may not entirely agree with all your points, but at least it’s good to see someone who is not immediately reaching for pitchforks and torches (unlike the poster after you).

  17. FML_in_SF says:

    Pitchforks? Certainly not.

    An understanding that the law exists to protect the most vulnerable among us? Absolutely. As demonstrated by Michael’s cautionary tale, failure to have this understanding has rather dire consequences unless one enjoys ending up in the pokey (now there’s a fetish).

    Torches? No, of course not.

    The acceptance of personal responsibility on the part of those involved? Absolutely. And I know personal responsibility for one’s actions is out of vogue these days, but I sure hope it makes a come-back (but not like draw-string pants did because those were always tacky).

  18. TrickyToro says:

    Not the brightest bulb or the most psychologically mature guest. There is a reality disconnect and a delusion that is exposed with statements regarding the incredulity of parents going through a pre-teen childs laptop, of the FBI using “sneaky” tactics to question him, and the comparison of his realtionship to the onscreen realationship depicted in Harold and Maude.

    I myself was a precocious Lolita who regularly had sex and dated men in their 30’s and 40’s from a young age. I still think of these encounters as some of the best and most exciting times of my life. Were I to be acquainted with these men now I would be horrified and wonder why a presumably mature man held an attraction for youngsters. I would be equally horrified were I the parents of the a teen engaging in these kinds of encounters. Unfortunately I’ve encountered way too many bonafide pedophiles. They are attracted to jobs that have them working with children and the fields are rampant. I know there is a difference between a pedophile who desires a young child and a pre-teen or teenage person. The power dynamics cannot be ignored though and as inarticulately as Michael attempts to defend his husband it doesn’t remove the fact that a middle aged man began grooming a pre-teen boy. We really need to question the psychological make-up of a middle aged man who encourages a child to perform sexual acts in love or not.

  19. Michael says:

    Marcin, your bullet points 1 through 5 basically summarize where I stand. I also agree on the hysteria. I think the age of 18 is a safer age of consent. At some point, maturity goes out the window because some 30-year-olds probably don’t have the maturity of Schnyer.

    As far as using what happens around the globe as an argument to support Schnyer at 15 sending nude pics or videos of himself to a consenting adult and worse, Juenke accepting and not deleting them … Women in certain countries can be stoned for much less. Doesn’t mean I want it to take place here.

    Tricktoro, power dynamics are right and are exactly why the laws we have are in place. Some laws in our country need to be bucked and broken to get the ball rolling to get them off the books. But, in this instance, they work and as several here have mentioned, a little patience and self-control could have prevented Juenke’s imprisonment.

    Now, enough of this. Let’s wish the two well and put our energy toward fighting prop 8 in California and the like. March 12th is my 40th birthday, hopefully we’ll have some good news in California by then.

    Be well, brothers. (And, … um … sisters.)

  20. Marcin says:

    Michael, I think your comparison about stoning is way off. If anything, you are arguing from a perspective of the less progressive, more conservative legal system, so your argument is like an Iranian saying that he doesn’t want adultery to be legalized and not punished with stoning, because he doesn’t want the immoral Western ways to come to Iran. 😛

  21. Michael says:

    I’m simply saying that we can’t justify one of our laws based on another country’s laws … except gay marriage, of course, because that benefits me!

  22. Curtis says:

    simply because something is LAW doesn’t make it perfect or sacrosanct or eternal truth. It’s all a construct. It ignores the possibility of healthy loving relationships for those under 18. Like Toro I had many experiences when I was under 18 with guys over 18, all of which I would describe as positive, happy, consensual, mutual, beneficial, experiences that all helped me mature and learn how to deal with men and sexuality and its many challenges.

    I’m not going to fall into the trap of looking back at those experiences with pedophile mania tinted glasses and declare them something they weren’t. I met all of these men in situations where they had no reasonable expectation to meet anyone other than an adult. They assumed I was over 18 often asking me if we wanted to go back to my apartment or take my car. I was actively looking for partners in the only places the homophobic closeted world of 1970’s early 80s Salt Lake City offered a young gay man.

    I acknowledged the existence of very real abuse out there, and I do think that particularly adults looking for pre-pubescent partners have a real problem because consent is nearly impossible in those cases. I do contend though that a person who is physically capable and ready for sex – who has all the biological urges, the pubic hair, the hormonal instincts to look for and desire sex, shouldn’t have a blanket age requirement/restriction placed on their desires. It is denial coming from a shame based approach to human sexuality. Its a point of view that is globalized by the dominance of Judeo/Christian Western ideas having political, military and economic sway and influence over the world. It is exacerbated by parental over protection, fears and denial about their children’s inevitable adulthood and independence.

  23. TrickyToro says:

    according to NAMBLA children are sexual beings who should be free to determine the content of their own sexual experiences

    Curtis are you saying if children/minors consent it should be okey for middle aged men to have sex with them?

  24. Marcin says:

    I don’t want to answer for Curtis where he is perfectly capable answering on his own, but he expressly drew the line between prepubescent minors (i.e. children) and post-pubescent teenagers who may be minors but are not children so your question seems to be loaded, Trickytoro.

    I do not agree with Curtis that the puberty of a specific individual should be the actual census, because, as a lawyer, I think it would be too vague and indeterminate to form an effective basis for legal status of the age of consent – we need a specific age of consent (however arbitrary it may be) to create legal certainty, which is important, especially when criminal law is concerned.

    That being said, as I have said already, I do agree that the age of consent around the age of 15, as it is in most European countries, approaches the sensible border between a child and a young adult much better than that of 18 years, which is not related to any significant mental or physiological change.

  25. reid says:

    input your comment here…

  26. bob says:

    interesting comments above =]

    I think the obama pardon thing seems a bad idea, maybe explore more realistic options such as making Dean’s term shorter and better.

    I think it’s very important to test the water and date a few guys before entering into something so serious… seriously!

  27. Michael says:

    You’re all going to hell! Sorry. Flashback.

    As this topic is winding down, I’d like to say I think we covered all the angles and actually had a civil, intelligent conversation. Now let’s start focusing our energy on how we’re going to destroy the Mormons and Catholics.

  28. KylePalmer says:

    You guys really nailed this one. Great interview!

  29. Gianni says:

    I don’t normally post here, but I’ve visited a few times.

    Anyway I stumbled across this kid when he was on youtube and had his myspace up.

    You guys really DO NOT know the full story or how much this Dean guy manipulated him at all.

    I was one of the many online who reported this to the FBI because of all the evidence that was all over the place.

    While I do feel bad for Michael and even considered messaging him because he was closer to my age, I didn’t, and I’ll tell you why.

    Dean basically manipulated this guy to the point that he shunned and turned away everyone around him including his own family. He believed guys interested in him his own age were “bad” because Dean said so, and Dean even threatened some of them on his myspace.

    Any friend this kid had that didn’t approve of his relationship with Dean was removed from Michael’s life with much nudging from none other than…Dean!

    His family tried to take away his internet connection and everything. He stopped communicating with them, shut himself inside, and made videos about Dean.

    This is basically the story of a lonely teen who was struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality in West Virginia of all places, not a gay mecca, and he was prayed upon. You can empathizes with the victimizer all you like but he played it classically.

    Dean isolated Michael easily because come on…teens are looking for a reason to be angry at the world. Us against the world is pretty much something every teen craves because they all feel so misunderstood. I’m 25 now and part of me is glad I didn’t message him because one I didn’t want to be considered to be anything like Dean(sure the kid is cute, but even now he’s a kid…ick), and two I would have probably been lashed out on.

    At the time when I stumbled upon his videos they were pretty new and I was just as messed up as he was, so I don’t know how much help I would’ve been, but I really wanted to let him know he wasn’t alone in the confusion.

    I’m a little saddened to see that Dean successfully made himself this kid’s whole world. Hopefully he’ll move past this before Dean’s sentence is up. That freak deserves every day of it.

    Just an FYI to anyone who feels bad for Dean, the human brain isn’t fully developed until around the mid 20s, play yourself all you like but there’s nothing innocent about a 30 year old praying upon a confused kid, and we as a community that is already looked at under a microscope shouldn’t even be toying around with an issue like this.

    I’m sure many will be caught up in Michael’s looks and only try to “help” him to get closer to him, but I really hope someone does come along in his life to show him that he doesn’t need to try to get with some manipulator.

    And no my post has nothing to do with Dean’s weight, I’ve moved away from Virginia, and I won’t be contacting Michael myself as I don’t think I could help him anymore. I have very strong opinions about adults praying on teens/children so he wouldn’t really enjoy my opinions.

    I’d like to finish by saying while I’m no psychologist this kid is obviously in a fragile state of mind and has been since the beginning. Many teens in his position kill themselves, he chose to attach himself to someone who taught him how to isolate himself from the rest of the world(aside from his new Daddy of course).

    This site is very public to those who already think gay men pray on young boys, please don’t give them a reason to claim that nasty stereotype is true.

    /rant

  30. Will says:

    WOW the former post is quite a perspective and the blogger obviously has some strong opinions and views. I agree that ANY ADULT should not prey on children, but I also know that there are situations that go outside what we think is normal. I think Michael presents his thoughts well-a little hard for you guys from an interview perspective. I wish him well and hope for the best.

  31. Michael says:

    This is Michael, from the interview.

    I told myself I wouldn’t post here and just let people’s thoughts be their own, but I’m sorry, I have to respond to Gianni, two posts above me.

    He has some very strong viewpoints and I’d like to address a couple of them.

    Obviously it is very hard for the vast majority to understand this situation. Judgment is probably the easiest thing to dole out. I know how things look from the outside, and I know that very, very many people feel Dean is manipulating me.
    How do I respond to that? I say simply, you do not know this man. Nor could I expect you to understand his or my own actions.
    Perhaps I’m in a fragile state of mind? Who knows. If so, I’ve been surviving okay for several years now. There are ups and downs in life, but dictating from the outside that one person or another is mentally unstable when you have only the superficial opinions and biased viewpoints that everyone is slinging around is not something I myself would be proud of.

    Perhaps it’s a difference of character? I can understand that. My own older sister doesn’t get along well with Dean purely because her personality doesn’t mesh with his. That’s okay, not everyone fits everyone else’s standards.
    What is the age of consent in the UK? In most of Europe? Why does it differ from the United States? My point is, you can’t pin down a particular age with a particular state of mind or emotional/mental development because simply put, everyone in this world is different. Very different. My first job when I was 16 years old, everyone thought I was 25 because of how I looked and acted. So there’s that.

    Many of you have taken the stance that I should stop whining about it and accept my fate. If that is how I came off as, then I doubt anything I say here will change your mind, but I’d still like to say that I’m not doing this to bitch and moan, I’m doing this to try and help turn a man’s life around. If that is so truly a horrible thing, then I don’t know what morals I was supposed to have learned but I have the wrong ones.

    And so, that’s it, pretty much. To Gianni, I’m quite honestly shocked that you can so easily judge a person you don’t know. I hope posting your rant was helpful in some way to you, though it hardly seems the sort of thing a fully developed 25-year old would do with any self control. For the record, and any who care to take my thoughts seriously, the facts Gianni has stated are blatantly wrong to the point of being slanderous. You truly have no idea what you’re talking about, nor could I expect you to.

    Good night.
    -Michael

  32. Gianni says:

    This is exactly why i didn’t bother.

    Fact of the matter is if what I posted wasn’t true you’d feel no need to respond. A man over 30 who frequented a gay chat room and continued to chat with a 15 year old through most of his teen years and you think you’re the only male let alone minor he chatted with?

    Be shocked all you like. I’m using common sense.

    You should too.

    Instead of wasting all of your energy defending your sugar daddy online, how about you prove me wrong. Date people you meet in real life. If this guy really loves you then he shouldn’t mind that at all considering he’s locked up and you’re not only all alone but young. Play the field.

    If you really love him then you’ll come back to him. If not then you know it was all in your head.

    Or you could continue down this path you let yourself get sucked into.

    Pretending that I’m just slandering Dean’s name for the fun of it is pretty silly considering I’ve never spoken to either of you before. I saw all of the information the two of you left out in the open, gasped, considered trying to help you, and moved on when I saw it was far too late.

    By telling you to date other people I’m also not saying that you should return to the internet to tell anyone how it went either. I’m saying you should do this for you and what you find out is your business.

    I’ve been living my own life and will continue to do so. I happen to live in Atlanta now so it’s not like I’m some internet psycho. At this point I really don’t even care that much, but when I see someone making a fool of his/herself I tend to let them know whether they like it or not.

    Simply put you got played, this guy flipped your life upside down. You wanna take it back or continue to be his “boy”? You decide. At the end of the day you have to do you.

    Like I said if you believed half of the things you say you wouldn’t need to start these online campaigns. If you weren’t lonely you wouldn’t need to keep reaching out to people online. If he hadn’t done anything wrong then there would be no way for anyone to voice their opinions on your so called relationship.

    All that aside at no point is it ok for a grown adult to be chatting up teenagers online. Period. He broke the law. Get it through your head. This issue goes beyond you and is more important than what you want. You’re not the first teen to ditch everyone and everything they know to go live with some guy they met online because the person knows them so much better than everyone else.

    Please, Dorothy, click your heals 3 times.

    I’m over it.

  33. Gay Dick says:

    I met a guy online and told him to come over to my place.

    He did, but he parked next to a fire hydrant.

    When he came up to my place, we fell in love. But when he got downstairs, he had a ticket! It’s so unfair, and I don’t know if the meter maid did it because she’s anti-gay or whatever. We’ve been treated unjustly! He loves me, and he was parking there to come visit me!

    Help me, Feast of Fools! And everyone else–please write to the president to get the fine waived!

  34. Bundahjoe says:

    Get a life Gianni.

    What a trauly painful, miserable and nasty attitude to some one who is so young – and yes! has a lot to learn.

    Micheal, chase what you believe it true. You’ll work it out on the way.

  35. Jake Snow says:

    ugh. Michael seems to be more in love with love and the idea of marriage than Dean. I think everyone’s compassionate views of their relationship would be different if he was a NAMBLA member or a previous sex offender (maybe this is his first offense). If they lived in close distance to each other and had sex, as I’m sure they would have because they are in love, supporters views would be different. Laws are to protect minors from being abused physically and mentally. It is to keep minors from being taken advantage of since they rationally do not understand the difference between love, infatuation, or hormones. Thank you Marc and Fausto for bringing up topics that affect the GLBT and encouraging dialogue!

  36. Marc Felion says:

    Michael’s father speaks out:

  37. TrickyToro says:

    He was not a sexual predator, just a lover of 15 year old boys. That makes it sound oh so much better.

  38. SASSOLINE says:

    Strange how Dad is the same “type” as hubby, isn’t it?

    Dad shares some of son’s basic misunderstandings about the law & the particular charges. By law, Michael is not considered the victim of the possession charge – society in general is. So Mike & dad can’t just go calling off the law on kiddie porn possession charges against Dean – it really doesn’t matter if a) Dean’s kiddy porn stach starred Michael or b) they like the guy/they say so

    Ridiculous delusions! It’s like gay day on the Jerry Springer Show!

  39. charles says:

    Ok I would like to start by saying that I am a fan of Michael, I find him to be a nice person and his videos have helped me. However, I don’t agree with what is going on recently. If what I have read so far is accurate, then the story (from an objective point of view) is that a 15-16 year old who was emotionally distraught for whatever reason sought comfort in the arms of a man at least 15 years older than him. The man then engaged a sexual relationship with the minor and even accepted sexually explicit photos and videos.

    I am sorry but in no way does that look acceptable. Not only am I shocked now that I know how the story happened ( since I never thought that Michael, who sounded so grounded and smart, would do something so stupid as sending sexy photos and videos to a stranger) but I am a tad worried for Michael’s well being. Maybe this is me being overprotective since I have younger siblings, but if that ever happened to one of them I would not approve at all. If I am not mistaken didn’t the man, Dean, have a kid? What would he have thought if HIS child was put in a position like that?

    Besides Michael, I think you could do SO much better.

  40. Tom says:

    Ok, there’s something else to be observed.

    Michael met Dean in person when he was 18. Before this, they two were just more-than-friends in the distance, but it was not anything dangerous, I think. And Michael were not a child at all, he still loving his husband, so we can’t take the point as if Dean had abused him or this kind of things. The proof is that Michael’s parents finally realized they were wrong about Dean.

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