FOF #1434 – Get a Little Closer, Don’t Be Shy

Sep 7, 2011 · 29237 views

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Let’s face it- a lot of us have no clue what we’re doing when it comes to love and relationships.

Today Dr. Frankie Bashan, a licensed psychologist and matchmaker joins us to talk about ways we undermine ourselves when we want to get close to somebody else.


  1. 300fromRyan says:

    What! No comments? What’s up with this people? This show was SO FRICKIN GREAT!

    Alan & I just had a conversation about dating, because we are running into similar things.

    For me, I’ve never been turned down when asking someone on a 1st date. But, very rarely does that person ever follow through. Usually I end up contacting them and they don’t contact me back, they cancel very close to the date with a BS excuse or a legit excuse arises, and then the date is cancelled afterwards.

    I agree, I think there is something going on with the word “date.”

    So I’ll try an experiment. I’ll start asking people “to dinner” or “to eat pastries & coffee” instead of using the word date. Let’s see if that makes a difference. Anyone else who tries it, let me know if it makes a difference for you too.

    • Alan? Who is Alan?

      I think “date” is asking people to commit any feelings to the relationship, at a point in time when they are trying to understand their own thoughts about you. Asking them out to a movie, pizza, etc.. may not be seen by them as a date, but if the chance for romance is there, then it is a date.

      Skip the pizza, go for the dessert!

  2. Nathaniel says:

    I don’t think Dr. Bashan’s advice regarding topics for the first date is valid. Politics & religion should not be off the table because they can be deal-breakers in relationship. You want to know before you invest too much time in this person whether you are going to be compatible, and religion & politics can often be irreconcilable. I feel like Dr. Bashan is advocating that you be deceitful about who you are until you fall in love and can’t break off the relationship when you realize that you don’t belong together. Oops. Don’t waste your time, folks. Feel the waters. Don’t air all your dirty laundry on the first date, but do exchange key information.

    • I think her point is more to try to be open to new ideas and situations, and come to the potential relationship from an asset based perspective, instead of one based on tastes and limits that have already been defined.

      Who knows? Maybe that cute Republican will go liberal for you.

  3. Andy says:

    I think it does not matter how much experience you have with dating, relationships when you meet a guy you really like, have a crush on you can get easily confused.

    It happened to me recently. After I had handed in my thesis last week I just wanted to have a good time with my family,friends and plan for my future like where I want to work and live in the future. Then when I visited my hometown last week I met this guy I have a huge crush on. Spend some days with him and before I left my hometown I told him that I really like him, since that we have exchanged some sweet messages but I haven’t thought/worried about a guy and how it all might work out that much in a long time. I hope it works out somehow otherwise I would have to sleep with a lot of guys to forget him. 😉

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