FOF #2135 – Gay Hook Ups Gone Wrong

Mar 18, 2015 · 1985 views

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Last year in the U.S, six gay men were murdered after meeting up for sex with other guys. Most of the victims met their assailants through hook up apps like Grindr, but one victim in South Carolina, Stephen White, encountered his killer the old fashioned way – in a gay bar.

Joining us today is writer Zach Stafford, who recently went to South Carolina to report on this horrific crime that left a man partnerless and a community worrying about how gay visibility puts LGBT folks at risk.


  1. agrimi01 says:

    Wow. This was a really good show. Zach Stafford shared stories about subjects that we don’t normally talk about, but should. The story about the man burned to death…how horrible! I can’t think of a worse way to die. No one deserves that. My heart goes out to his partner and family.

    When going home with a guy in the 80s and early 90s, we didn’t have social media to rely on to do some checking. It was solely based on instinct.

    Marc and Fausto, this shows the diversity of your content. One day we can be dishing it with drag. Then next, we can talk about serious subject matter. Whatever the case I am able to take something away from each episode.

    I just love you guys. Keep up the good work.

    Jim C – Minneapolis, MN

    p.s. be horny with the weird voice, Fausto. You don’t say it that much, and I don’t think it’s annoying.

  2. Another great and compelling show on a very important issue. Check out Season 1 of the Australian show, Cucumber! It’s a great cast of characters and they tackle this very issue. Thank you for educating the community on how to be safe.

  3. Michael says:

    Cucumber is a British show!!!

  4. Artemisia says:

    I really liked this episode guys. I really think we need to think about our safty as a comunity more.

    In this case it sounds like the killer was dealing with his own sexuality and could not handle that he was probably gay. However if a hater wanted to find us it’s not hard to fake a profile on a dating app, earn someones trust and meet up with them in real life.
    If you want to see a first hand exsample of this look up on youTube gay hate in Russia where guys show up for a date, meets the guy they where talking too, along with a gang of hateful assholes that beat him up.

    Whathing thouse videos made me so furious and sad.

    Being trans I’ve had dates go violent, in my case I tell them I’m trans but some can’t live with the fact they just got intimate with someone who was a man. This encounter usually does not end well for me.
    For this reason I follow a few rules.
    1. Let a fried know your going on a date, a pic of the person and the address or where you are meeting.
    2. Do a facebook search on them, and a google search on the image file they used for their profile pic, or do a search on them with a background check app.
    3. I usally bring a stungun and a knife of sort. If you have to fight do it fast and run to where people are.
    4. Kind of old fashioned but a good whistle gets attention pretty well, and if you have to yell, yell “fire!” It gets more attention then rape or help.

    I actually met someone on line once who asked me to do payed modeling photo shoot for him.
    It was not a date just a job I was ok with that but when he said he was going to tie me to a chair and gag me for a BDSM shoot I said only if I can have a body guard with to ensure nothing ells happens. After I made this request he was suddenly not intreted.

    I also know a friend of mine who’s trans who got attacked after she told him she was trans, he started to beat her up. The only thing that saved her was tire iron she kept down the edge of her bed.

    We can not assume that because we are in a gay club or gay site that everyone is in the rainbow family and there for safe. My hart goes out to Alex Teal and Steven White. I’m sorry this happened :.(

  5. Rick says:

    SUCH a good show. I wish this one the week’s free to listen so I could share with some of my friends. I’m always talking about the podcast and the hard-hitting journalism you guys put out, and this is a great example of that!

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