FOF #2047 – Sex on Wheels
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It’s not always easy getting the sex you want, whether you’re in a wheelchair or not.
For writer Andrew Morrison Gurza, it’s important that people recognize that disabled folks are sexual beings too. Now, as a gay man, it’s not always easy for Andrew to get his groove on, but he has game and does just fine.
Listen as Andrew talks about queer crip liberation, the very sexy Alex Minsky and why you should totally go out on a date with that cute guy in a wheelchair.
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Comments
“Next time you’re at the gym, think “what’s my excuse?””
Since you guys enjoy talking all things PC, just FYI, saying something along those lines is called “inspiration porn” and considered very offensive to people with handicaps.
Hmmm. Thanks for sharing that- “inspiration porn” is a new concept for me. Seems akin to the “magic negro.”
I reject the idea of ____ porn because it ignores the reality that we all have obstacles to overcome in making the most of our lives.
It’s okay if other people inspire you, even when they don’t mean to.
When I see someone who has a very different reality than mine, one that looks really hard from my perspective, and I see them kicking ass at the gym for example, I do find it inspiring.
So I wont apologize for being inspired whenever I see a guy who is missing a leg kicking butt at the gym. I have both of my legs and I’m nowhere near in the shape he is.
“the reality that we all have obstacles to overcome in making the most of our lives. ”
But that’s the point of the talk, in that regard, we are all the same, we all have obstacles to overcome in spite of adversity. Her point, as far as I understand, is that people with disabilities aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary, they’re using their bodies to their best capabilities.
You can admire someone for being athletic, but when you’re bringing their disability into it, it sounds a lot like “You’re hot for a black guy” / “You’re athletic for somone who is missing a leg” / “You’re funny for a woman” Maybe he’s just hot/athletic/funny?
But I agree with your point on objectification, it’s not as black and white as that.
I couldn’t respond directly to Jonas, and agreed it’s not black and white, but I think there’s a slight difference in here and that there is something about not only doing something extraordinary but also doing it while overcoming a DIRECT obstacle.
Case-in-point: Being an Olympic-level athlete (or, really, in just fantastic shape) is something that is amazing for ANYONE. Doing it when you have a DIRECT obstacle to that makes it even more amazing.
Starting a company and making a million dollars is amazing. Doing it when you’re working five jobs to pay your way through night school to learn the skills because you grew up in poverty is even more amazing.
Writing a book about struggle that becomes a best-seller is amazing. Writing that book about your own struggles with mental illness and working to overcome not wanting to leave bed every day is even more amazing.
My point is that when someone excels and then also excels over a DIRECT obstacle, that (to me) seems different than going “Oh, good for you, it’s like you’re people.” These are people who are doing things I already struggle with doing and I don’t even have the direct obstacles in the way they do (well, except the depression one). So I think that’s the hair that’s being split here. But, I could be entirely wrong, and that’s the beauty of the human condition.
She’s also making the assumption that all porn objectifies people, which isn’t the case. A lot of porn empowers people (to make money, to feel sexy, to overcome stigma and conservative values)
@Cody Melcher, thanks for the input! I agree very much so that we can admire those who do great and wonderful things in spite of obsctacles and adversity and you know, to a certain degree, no knowledge of what is PC and what isn’t is going to keep me from feeling inspired, so in the end, maybe it isn’t even that relevant.
I just think that what Stella Young meant in the video is that there’s are good ways and bad ways to express your admiration for someone and I’m sure she has heard it all. Her point was that there are people who lift themselves up by reminding them how shitty the lives of other people are and that’s the issue, because people with disabilities don’t have shitty lives, that’s a mischaracterization from a place of ignorance.
But I’m pretty sure that, like most things when it comes to PC, this “issue” can simply be resolved by eduacting able-bodied people. “Wow, you did that with only one leg?!” – “Well, you know, my life really isn’t that different from yours!”
Great convo. We should however be discussing my awesomeness. 🙂
I second the motion!