Let’s Keep Dan Savage Accountable. Shall We?

May 25, 2010 · 1985 views

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If you haven’t heard, Crate & Barrel had a $100,000 Ultimate Wedding contest in which couples competed via online voting to win the……get this…..$100,000 Ultimate Wedding!  A gay couple, Gregory and Jonathan came in second!  Finally […]


  1. I would have thought the same thing as Dan. Sure sounded like “recovery” to me too.

    I have to say I got tons of email over this Crate and Barrel Wedding thing and frankly, I could care less. Until everyone in this country can have a dream wedding, I could give a fuck about this marketing campaign.

  2. I agree with you 100% Marc. Boo Hoo ! Where’s my dream wedding ? LOL I see it doesn’t matter whether you’re gay or straight, when it comes to weddings all we think about is the prize or “Keeping up with the Jones”. Since when do gays want the life that Straight people have ? We’re so materialistic ! If a gay couple is going public with their love they should choose their words carefully or “Zip it”. The couple didn’t say they were gay bashed… they said they were “in recovery”, leaving their words (and their relationship) open for all sorts of interpretation. If they don’t want this type of public scrutiny then they should keep their wedding private and not enter some LAME contest. I find that I’m “In Recovery” from the “dream wedding” mentality that has now spilled over into gay culture. No thanks !

    • Congratulations to the couple for winning! It’s great to see gay people win stuff, weather it’s on the Price is Right or in a Crate and Barrel contest. I’m envious of them because I’m sure the wedding is going to be spectacular and we won’t be invited!

      Is a gay couple winning 2nd place in a marketing campaign in the form of a wedding contest a form of progress? Sure. Why not?

      But I’m on Dan Savage’s side on this one. The couple probably chose their words to be intentionally ambiguous. But so what? Either way, it doesn’t really matter. Drink that wine in recovery boys! Be whomever you want to be. Have a great wedding. Wish I could be there.

  3. For Crate & Barrel the bottom line is money and they have a great number of gay customers already so they give the gay couple the 2nd prize to pander to us. If a gay celebrity couple such as you and Fausto were to enter they’d probably give you 1st prize for all the free publicity.

    • If Marc and I did win such a contest we’d invite everyone to the party, and Lady Gaga would perform there. And it would be free and there would be really fancy champagne and lots of hunky dancers from cirque du soleil giving everyone back massages. And then all the muppets would come out and sing “The Rainbow Connection.” And then Neil Patrick Harris would pop up and do a little cameo and plant kermit a big kiss on his green lips. And then we would all do a fabulous Bollywood “Thriller” dance number and then…

      • And IF you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew–you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say: “Thank you for being a friend!”

    • The contest was also determined by online voting, Crate & Barrel didn’t determine who won the internet did.

  4. As I mentioned in the comments on my blog, its not so much the fact that he said it that is the reason I take issue with it. It’s his apology. Man up and be sincere I say. So you fucked up and said something you shouldn’t have, apologize sincerely. Don’t blame the couple for writing something that you misinterpreted.

    • Ryan I see your point. But I’m sure Dan saw something was not right with what that couple wrote to enter that contest. So he ridiculed their statement about “recovery”. If I had his blog or column I’d ask the couple why choose such ambiguous wording and why enter the contest mentioning your personal tragedy. Whether they were recovering from cancer, gay bashing, famine … whatever… They used the word recovery in the hopes to win a contest.

  5. It would also be a different story if the couple was writing to him asking for advice or his opinion on their relationship (like he does in his column), but they didn’t.

  6. The things is, I knew they’d never give it to the gay couple anyway- again, it’s their bottom line and they’ll get more mileage out of second place for the gays than first place.

  7. I can understand how Dan misunderstood the how the word “recovery” was used. I too rolled my eyes when I read what that couple submitted (and not because I thought recovery was alcohol or drug related). I rolled my eyes cause I don’t think you go public in a corporate contest stating your personal tragedy or using words like “recovery” unless you see dollar signs $$$. I thought it was a well worded manipulation to win the prize and I’m not fooled by that game. It is a contest after all which is one great big game. The word “recovery” hints they’ve overcome a very personal tragedy or experience. Regardless the recovery from whatever tragedy, that’s awful but it’s great that they are there for each other and they want to get married. But don’t use your personal tragedy or words like “recovery” to manipulate some prize grab in a a very public contest.

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