FOF #913 – Lose the Should, Get the Good

Jan 20, 2009 · 1985 views

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You may not realize it, but the way you think could be sabotaging your life. On today’s show we have marriage and family therapist Damon L. Jacobs here to to talk about his new book […]


  1. Marc Harshbarger says:

    Thanks for featuring my fabulous friend, Damon, on your equally fabulous show, boys! I posted a blog on “Deep Dish” yesterday about Mr. J., his book and his visit to “Feast of Fools”–and featured your amusing video of him.

    Have a groovy week!


  2. Marcin says:

    Great show, as always.

  3. tigoillo says:

    Great show, For the person that wanted to know more about starting GSA they “should”
    go to the GLSEN website, to learn how to do it.

    GLSEN (Gay Straight Education Network) is an amazing organization.

  4. matt says:

    I really disagree.

    It’s so Puritanical to look at self-indulgence (unsafe sex and recreational drug use, etc.) as a result of self-loathing. Sometimes people just throw caution to the wind because it’s fun. But then the next morning, they wake up, and continue to make “good” choices.

  5. Wonderful Show.

    Damon gave me a lot of food for thought, and thinking to the struggle I’m going through right now ‘should’ has played a large part in it. As a gay teen it’s important to hear not just ‘WHAT’ destructtive decisions can do to you, but ‘WHY’ they are made.

    Much Love,
    – Josh Allen

  6. Justin says:

    Gday Mates,

    I just want to start by saying you guys do a great show and I love listening in on your podcast. You always ask great questions and have a wide range of interesting guests on your show.

    Sometimes when I am at home I don’t really want to go to dance class or to the gym and make myself go and afterwards I am glad that I made myself go. I feel really good afterwards and am glad that I have stuck to my guns to be able to achieve my goals. However, I go because I love it not cause I think I should do it but I do say to myself “I should go” to dance class or the gym.

    I think in some cases a “should” here and there is a good thing cause it makes sure we do things that can help us achieved the goals to make us happy. But I agree that saying I should all the time can also have the opposite effect and make our goals seem totally unattainable.

  7. Alfonzo says:

    I completely agree with Damon on the word should. When I went through therapy for anxiety and depression, one of the phrases used in the program was “stop should’ing all over yourself.” It really got the message across.
    I also want to send a big thank you to Damon for pointing out to everyone that these societal norms that we impose upon ourselves really can lead to unnecessary stress and that there are ways around them.

    I really got a lot out of this particular show.

    Thanks guys!

  8. Justin- I think a “should” here and there is a good thing but when everything becomes a “should” you’ve got to think about why that is.

  9. Nick says:

    What a wonderful podcast.

    That made alot of sense.
    And I enjoyed how both Marc & Fausto didn’t just accept what Damon said, you played wonderful devil’s advocates and greatly improved the value of the interview.

    It’s given me alot to think about!!

    Now all I need is my Tracy Tyler fix 09.xx

  10. Damon L. Jacobs says:

    Thanks everyone for your great comments! I appreciate ALL the feedback, and really hope these ideas help you have a better day (and night!).

  11. Seige75 says:

    This was a really great show. It reinforced some of the ways I starting looking at my life a couple years a go. And I am all the better for it. But it reminded me to help others out in this way of thinking that we control our own lives.

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