FOF #1992 – Everybody Say Love

May 28, 2014 · 1985 views

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As if we hadn’t heard already every angle to the heated debate over language, slang and slur words, over Memorial Day weekend the Internet was ablaze again, with many transgender writers and drag queens fighting over RuPaul’s recent tweets. It’s enough to drive a girl mad!

Is it possible to have a peace treaty in the war of the words?


  1. I’d like to start off by saying that I think it’s a great thing that you guys are trying to be the peacemakers over this whole issue, and present all sides of the issue, not taking one side….

    But I don’t see this ever dying down. It dosen’t seem like the social justice/trans bloggers and ever one else, are ever going to come to an agreement with one another

    It’s the old guard vs. the new kids on the block. The old guard being Ru Paul and some of these other drag queens. The new kids on the block being these social justice bloggers who I’m guessing are mostly only in their twenties and white. Middle class privileged white folks and their biggest weapon is the internet.

    When the old guard were fighting for civil rights, there was no internet, they had to PHYSICALLY go out into the streets and fight for their rights. The only exposure most of these trans/social justice bloggers have had to any kind of activism is through the internet. Imagine if you took away their blogging powers or if they had no internet? That would mean they’d have to LEAVE their house and be productive. They would probably shrivel up and die if they could no longer blog on the internet. So they will continue to sit behind their computers and argue endlessly with the other side because that’s all they are capable of doing and this back and forth fighting will never end.

    Group A(Ru Paul/ drag queens/gay men/etc) will say one thing, and then then group B(trans bloggers) will respond back, which will piss off group A who will fight back, which will piss off group B, who will also fight back and it will never end.

    Ru Paul isn’t making things better, I think she feels that she is under attack, and probably feels that these people attacking her are being ungrateful after everything she’s done in the history of lgbt activism. Also I think her ego is talking,?she probably feels like she’s been backed into a corner and all she can do is fight back

    The old guard have certain emotional attachments to these words, there is a special history behind these words to them, so when these fresh new online activists who probably weren’t even born around the time these words were being used on the reg by these older activists, tell them “no you can’t use these words” it does not surprise me in the least bit that the old guard is going to fight back. So in conclusion, I don’t ever see this “war” ending. It may die down a little, but all it will take is a single tweet to ignite everything again.

    I wonder what were to happen if all these social media/blogging websites were to suddenly vanish one day, we’d probably have full lgbt civil rights within a month because shit would actually get done.

    As for the eggs with ketchup controversy, I’ll put ketchup on my eggs, but only if they are omelette style, plain eggs with ketchup is “bleh”

  2. Bryce says:

    Marc & Fausto, I like to type my comments as I listen. This was a great show. Glad you had a great weekend.

    Fausto, I totally agree with you about the master/slave thing. As a young black male, I have always had mixed-reactions about slavery being fetishized. Especially since a lot of gay men would turn their noses up at it if they saw a man doing that shit to a woman. I dunno. I’m not into it. If any guy ever came to me with that bullshit I might have to get a little rowdy. A part of me wonders if that’s just yet another way our insecurities and self-loathing as gay men have manifested. Hey – whatever floats your boat or bangs your drum. It ain’t for me. SIDE NOTE: I think you guys should maybe explore this topic on an episode. There’s this really Tumblr-famous guy who is in one of those master/pup relationships with two guys. Plus it would be cool to get the POV of a black gay male. Ooooh that would be hella juicy and compelling.

    I’m 29 but I feel that with each passing day I have less and less in common with people of my generation. I totally see eye to eye with RuPaul. RuPaul’s very presence in our culture and pop culture is the reason why I am able to have a somewhat happy existence as a gay black man in the south. I remember seeing Ru for the very first time in the movie Too Wong Foo. Yes, she may not always be sugar and spice and everything nice but I can relate to her pain and frustration. A lot of these young trans and gay bloggers can run off at the mouth and voice their opinions while virtually remaining anonymous. Every thing RuPaul says and every action she makes is under careful scrutiny. She has done SO much for the LGBT community. Had it not been for her and RuPaul’s Drag Race I would not have paid attention to trans people. Sonique was the first transgender person I was even aware of. And let’s not forget that RuPaul changed the rules on the spot during Season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race to be inclusive of trans queen Monica Beverly Hillz.

    The issue I have with Carmen Carrera is that she spent an entire season bullying four of her drag race contestants by referring to them as boogers and as beneath her. Yes, Shangela and Alexis were vocal in return but Yara and Stacy did not deserve Carmen’s rotten behavior. Now Carmen wants to turn against the very thing and person that made her relevant. No offense but would we even know Carmen had it not been for her appearance on Drag Race?

    The only way this issue is ever going to be reconciled is if people stop hiding behind their laptops and enter some sort of public forum. My generation has no clue what activism is. We don’t know what it truly is like to have one’s speech censored. Let’s not forget that not even 50 years ago, LGBT individuals were seen as second class citizens. We are setting the movement back by all of this in-fighting. If I were RuPaul, I would not say a damn thing. Let these ignorant, uninformed, entitled individuals who have an opinion for everything destroy each other because let’s face it, it’s not the evil white man that will do that to us, we’re doing it to ourselves.

    Uncles, I love you guys. Thank you for another wonderful episode. XOXO

  3. colaboy29 says:

    Again, another great show! I don’t know why you don’t have advertisers or sponsors who would help pay to keep such great programming around.

    But congratulations I making your 2000th show goal. I went to donate and saw you had made it, but still donated. Can’t wait for that special show.

    Seriously, the chain around Dan’s neck is so ridiculously large it has to be some sort of joke. I don’t know any slave or sub who would wear something with links that big.

    And as for associating Mr. Gear with hamsters, it’s gerbils. No one uses hamsters up the butt. You need a gerbil because it has a long tail so it can be removed easily (ahhh, the things you learn when you are in a Rocky Horror cast).

  4. What is the deal with locks and chains as necklaces?? It’s a Dom/Sub thing. The Dom has the key to the lock. And the lock is on a chain around the neck that cannot be removed by slipping the locked chain over the head. It can only be removed with the Dom’s key.


    I agree with RuPaul. Everyone is so sensitive and they let words control their lives. It’s just a word. Maybe you should spend more time trying to figure out why it bothers you so much. There’s more going on if this is so important to you. Fix the leak, don’t just patch it.
    Next topic, eggs taste good because they are egg flavored. What else do you need? Don’t drown your food. Maybe you don’t like the taste of eggs. Just eat ketchup. LOL
    Another fun show. Thanks for all the great entertainment. You make my work day extra special. Love you guys!

  6. Does anyone actually like Dan Savage?

    • Bryce says:

      Either he’s really rich or he has a great personality. I seriously anyone’s knocking on his door because of his looks. Especially that living breathing Ken doll he parades around.

  7. Mike Closer says:

    I just recently discovered your podcast and I really love your work. I think it’s crucial to talk about language, its structure and users as well. I’m from Poland and believe me, there is very much work ahead of this country to educate people about LGBTI and same sex love. There is a huge part of society that does not only not support gay rights, but they fight literally people who don’t fit into the heternormative system. These people instrumentalize language with slurs and hatefull words to discriminate gays, lesbians, transgendered people in the public. The dangerous moment appears when people use these kind of words like faggot, though they don’t really know it CAN be hurtful and they say it just because the majority says it. When I moved to Poland I started critisizing my collegues and new friends who were not aware of the fact that it is just a mean thing to say. This is a very complex debate and every side should speak up and listen what the other party has to say. And I agree with you: It always depends on the social context. You can say it to a friend if you know that he or she wouldn’t be offended, but don’t do it if you know it could upset somebody. And there is Joan Rivers who doesn’t give a damn and I love her anyway.
    There should be definitely a dialog between the older and new generation among the LGBT community. Love love love. Right? And a little bit of sex.
    Hugs from Poland, Mike

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